By Renee Shay, Harvesting Thought
–explore–
My parents never raised me to hate. Think about that statement for a few seconds. “My parents never raised me to hate.” It sounds simply absurd to think about such a thing but here I am, surmising that some adult human beings had taught their offspring to hate while others had not. When trying to understand the origins of hatred that some humans appear to harbor for others, I arrive at this question. Evolving, is it really that hard in the 21st century?
Having grown up in a ridiculously small town in western Wisconsin in the late 20th century, it was easy to make fun of others that were different than most of the town because most of the four hundred or so population appeared to all look, to talk and to act the same. Sure, there were ethnic differences that were more noticeable to adults rather than children, like differences between the Norwegians, Scandinavians, Swedish, Irish, and Germans, but they were less than noticeable if not altogether invisible to a child’s eye.
Diversity in my small town was about what European country your family had immigrated from not what color was your skin. Many in the town were blood-related, so not too much of a stretch to suggest that they could easily mob together against someone who appeared different than themselves. They were mirrors of themselves. Many had grown up never pursuing education past high school if they made it through there at all. Many never ventured outside the towns border far enough to experience any other view than another slightly bigger small town up the road. The demographics have not changed much over the years, falling about 96.6% White, 0.9% Asian, 1.4% Native American, 1.1% other, with a population varying from 253 in 1910 to 556 in 2019 [Wikipedia data].
The jokes, the mimicking of other cultures for a good laugh, the role playing, all this seemed harmless at the time. But was it? With years of making fun of other races, of other ethnicities, of other countries, does it take a toll later in life if left unchecked? Does it still manifest itself poorly in the ways of interacting with other adults now? Does it inform and influence decisions about where a person chooses to live, what church they belong to, if any, form their political stances and even impact who someone decides to love? Does it influence how people raise their own children?
–challenge–
Do you call out prejudice, bias, racism, when you see it in your peers, in your child’s play? Do you teach them that it is okay to call other people by stereotypical or racist names for a quick laugh? Do you partake in the comradery of hatred over a few beers with your friends, “just having fun,” at someone else’s expense? Do you make fun of those less fortunate, living here or in a third world country, who are trying to make the best of a dire situation? Does that make you feel a part of something when you are bellied up to the bar in your small town on a Friday night? Can you look back at your life and see how you have evolved or have not evolved in these areas and ask yourself why or why not?
I find it interesting that as an adult I have more diversity in my one city block of twenty urban households, 55% White, 20% Black, 15% Asian, 10% Hispanic, than there was and there is in the entire small town I grew up in. Is that the difference, proximity to difference, which causes a population to evolve at a different pace than others? Education, how much does that factor into the equation? Work, if your vocation takes you to a bigger town to work in but not that much larger than where you live, does that hold you back?
Based on my own experience, it is my belief that if you never get outside your bubble, you may never positively experience other races, other cultures. I believe the toxic racism emanating from a small town is often more obvious than in a city. It is more in the open because you do not have the “other” neighbors in ear shot. It does exist in both rural and urban, it does exist in all cultures, with all races, though from my experience, I see it more prevalent from those I know from rural America than those I interact with in the urban areas.
It is a fact that rural America is still homogeneous to the descendants of white Europe, not much appears to change there. The reason I lean toward the lack of proximity theory as part of the evolutionary clog of systemic racism is that I experienced it first-hand. I did not routinely interact with races other than white people until I went to college at the University of Minnesota. I did not get to know any other ethnic groups like Hispanics until I moved to California and worked in a restaurant with chefs and waiters who were from Mexico. My thoughts and feelings toward others did not begin to evolve until I had these interactions with others different than those from my small town. So, I do believe there is truth in the fact that personal access to others can propel a person to evolve more quickly than someone with limited access to those perceived to be different than them.
I know this to be true because I was one of them from a small town who made the jokes, who looked upon others differently than me, who did not recognize the racial undertones in my choice of words or behaviors. Even down to the childhood games we played, what side was the best to be on during a game and the counting sides for who is in and who is out, it was there. Anyone not as white as we were becoming the “other” to be made fun of, to be ridiculed, to be excluded, to be looked down upon, to be considered less than to prop ourselves up.
I can recognize with some of the people I grew up with in their social media interactions, right there on full display for the entire world to see, that they are still stuck in those views. It is no longer kept in child’s play, it is no longer something that emerges every four years during political elections, the talks of immigration or socioeconomic issues, it is right there in the daylight of their posts, in their likes, in their comments, each day. It is the white only privileged club; you are either in or you are out. You will never know their privilege and safety in numbers. You will never have the same freedoms to roam the lands of America if you are not one of them. And that is what they fear most, losing that.
It is also worth noting that exceptions to this being a small-town phenomenon exist in both rural and urban America, especially if interactions between races and cultures are negative. Of course, such events can inform people’s perceptions of others and be the crux of their racist views, but I would argue that is the exception rather than the rule. Some of those living in urban areas today brought their racism with them from the small towns they grew up in. Having just a short conversation with someone from rural America you can quickly discover that many of their racist views have not come from personal interactions with others. One can conclude that experience did not cause their racism because they really have not had any. It is usually more impersonal than that, formed from a distance based on what stories they were told, what lies they were fed. Some parents were around to encourage and propagate the hatred while some parents were not around to stop it from developing. Kids and adults now see or hear it 24/7 enforced on television, in the movies and on the World Wide Web. No diversity day or discrimination law built to combat it is going to change someone’s mind.
–expand–
The human inhabitants of planet Earth in this 21st century is so microscopically connected through technology and disease; you would think we would have evolved by now to a better acceptance of those different than ourselves. We are all human and our survival may depend on our ability to get along as a species. There appears to be no excuse yet here I am, still wondering why so much hate and why we have not all evolved?
There is extraordinarily little we do not know about each other, we know most everything, very little yet to be discovered, so why can we not get along through understanding? While there are still “uncontacted” ethnic groups in South America, Africa, India, and elsewhere, we still know they are there. There has been contact throughout history and the only reason we have little contact now is to avoid bringing diseases to them that they have no defense for and the fact that they do not want us to contact them no doubt for similar reasons, for their own safety. But some contact has brought them modern technology, why have they not adapted to it and changed? Why do they still live in isolation with no modern technology to speak of except a sword blade or knife left behind by someone who has adapted to change?
If a life jacket floated up on a beach of some uncontacted tribe anywhere in the world, would that mean they would wear it to swim? If a plane fell from the sky and landed in their jungle, would that mean they would then learn the mechanics of flight? Technological accelerants that can fall from the sky into the laps of a band of hunter-gatherers does not equate to evolution. If a plane fell from the sky and landed in my background I would surely know where it came from, I would understand what it was used for and might even understand some of its basic technology but that would not mean I would be able to build one myself. Therefore, more knowledge of something does not bring any more evolution than less knowledge of something. So, what else is it then that moves some forward while leaving some behind?
There are examples everywhere in modern society of people from all races and ethnicities getting along. There is no other place of diversity in the world today like America. It is imperfect but who we are; what we are made of what we stand for, ideally the principles that have held our democracy together thus far. If it is proven that we can get along in urban areas, why are there some of us not evolving into better humans from rural areas? Is it because the advantages of hate still outweigh the advantages of letting it go or is it still something else?
If you are the Sentinelese people living on an island in the Indian Ocean, what is your advantage to not allowing contact with others? Is it about fear of the ones who appear different in skin tone, in the color of their eyes, in their mannerisms, in their dress? Is it an attempt to protect the resources you have and are willing to kill for? Is it fear of not understanding the other people’s language or fear of change? Across the globe there are examples of those getting along and those that do not have the capacity to or desire to for some reasons like these, justified or not. Many societies live near each other and do not understand each other’s language, but they get along. It is not just an American issue to be solved, it is a human issue, it is a life issue, it is an animal issue, it can be a resource issue, but can we minimize and improve it? Can we evolve from it into a more accepting and harmonious society?
Fear, what a powerful instinct, as it can be wise and irrational in the same moment. Wise because it can initially protect us from something different yet irrational because most of fear is unjustified. There is no threat, no one trying to take your land, take your home or cause you or your family harm. Yet do you fear others? Try to run through your house at night with all the lights out, your fear is heightened because the darkness obstructs your vision. Yet in the daylight, with nothing that has changed in the house, you know where everything is in the dark as in the light, you lived in the same space for years, in the light you could run through it with no problem right? The only difference is what you could see or not see, what information you had access to and what you did not. So, information is helpful to reduce fear, but it is not the full answer.
We will continue to see some human beings stuck in a static evolutionary posture. They are not going to adventure outside their bubble to experience things different than what they know, different than the safety of their home. They will never realize that people in their small town are the same as people in a village halfway across the globe. The others happen to be just as human as they are with the same wants, the same needs, and the same desires. Unfortunately, most people’s fear prevents them from exploring new relationships with people who are different than them. While technology is available so too is all the information about others at our fingertips, whether in books, online or in real life experiences. We can learn everything about every race, every culture. There are no secrets left, nothing left to be afraid of.
My parents never raised me to hate those different than me and that does not mean I never hated something different or unknown. Some parents have taught their children to hate but that does not mean their children and oftentimes now adults, must hate. People can evolve when they separate themselves from their childhood, from their small-town community bubble and expand their minds toward acceptance of others that are different than what they know themselves to be. Flipping the evolutionary switch that turns the lights on to new thought and action are hard, but it is not impossible. I am living proof of that. Let us not wait for the others to get disconnected from their hate, if you are witness to it, call it out and offer up a better way. Let us start seeing all humans as our siblings with each one of us having something good and worthy to contribute to our human race. For those that are incapable, may their hatred completely dissolve into their past as it is no longer funny, it is not acceptable, never should have been. A mutation of thought will occur for them soon so that we all propel forward together and truly transform into better human beings or a new species altogether; that would be fine with me.
Harvesting Thought 