Ship in My Backyard

By Renee Shay, Harvesting Thought

–explore–

I had noticed my brother’s old pontoon tucked away on his side driveway last summer while I was out to the lake fishing.  This boat was destined in his mind for recycling but to me it still looked like it had a solid structure, though some work would be needed to repair it.  He had already replaced it with another boat, so he no longer needed it.  I had fished off it for years so knew how much fun that was and hated to see it head to the scrapyard.  If it does not sink, I thought to myself, it is still good, right?  I thought what better time than now during a pandemic, when I have lots of time on my hands and space in my own yard, to take on a project and try to rebuild this thing? 

The deal was struck within a few seconds of pondering it.  He brought it to my house in the cities within a few days, dropped it off in my backyard and away he and his wife went.  I think my other brother that was out fishing from California thought I was crazy for taking on the project.  I was sure I could do it but during a pandemic, I was not going to have any physical help with it.  In the end, doubt, has never stopped me from crazy ideas when I put my mind to something so I guessed that this project would be no different. 

–challenge–

Not knowing where to start, I just began to deconstruct it.  I studied how it was put together along the way of taking it apart so that when it came time to put it back together I would at the least know its basic framework.  Taking it apart piece by piece, taking the side rails off and pulling the carpet off, was going good up until this point. But removing the wood deck floor proved more challenging than I thought as the bolts were so rusted and hard to reach. Sometimes even the bolts and nuts of a thing can be so stubborn. 

I ended up at an impasse at that point in the project and became very frustrated.  I had cut, sawed, pounded, pushed, and pulled.  I walked away and came back to it, and not until after receiving some advice from my family that I was able to move forward.  I was then armed with the right tools and got it all the way down to its DNA, the steel and aluminum pontoons.

My sister, who does a lot of construction projects, has always told me how making sure you have the right tools for the job are so important.  It is amazing how important that simple fact is and, taking that a step further, could be applied to anything in life, not just restoring a pontoon.  Could it be applied to restoring relationships?  How many times do have I have to learn, in this case, learning that a reciprocating saw is my best friend with any steel, metal or wood project?  One more time, I guess.  My brother ended up lending me his saw and I was then able to finish removing the old deck.  Between the two of them, working independent of each other, they both guided me along on this project.

–expand–

I completed the tear down with both their support and was ready to build it back up from there.  The main structure was exposed; the pontoons were intact, the bones looking good, so I got to work rebuilding it.  I just needed to replace the flooring, add new lights while replacing the wiring, sand and paint the siding, polish the aluminum, remove algae, lime, old paint from pontoons, add new seats, new carpet, reattach steering column, run cables, build troll motor stand, and secure it all back into one structure.  Oh yes, install a used motor, hook up throttle and power steering cables.  With my roommates help with the painting and with the advice from my siblings, I was able to put it all back together.

I find it interesting how it took me more energy destroying what was once a fully functioning pontoon than it did putting it back together anew.  I am not done with it yet; I need to add a captain’s chair and get a trailer for it, and of course make sure the used engine that I found runs.  And, I need to add longer battery cables, a new power steering set-up, and name it, but almost there. 

Suffice to say that the pontoon has now become my ship in a bottle (i.e., backyard).  It has not seen water yet but in the land of 10,000 lakes, that will be easily come spring.  I am reminded by this project that even when something that has been all torn apart, often by my own doing, even in the darkest of winter, I can still find a way to getting it put back together with a little grit and determination.  I was just outside yesterday removing some built-up ice on the cover to keep it in shape for the season to come.

Sometimes with the help of family and friends, even if just their encouragement and advice, I can get it something done even with and despite of a global pandemic. Can I apply the same lessons learned from this project to the repairing of broken relationships?  All I need is to have the right tools, be motivated to work on it and have the courage to take the first step?  I believe the first step with any project is determining value and understanding that reciprocation might just be that missing tool needed to restore anything that is broken, worn out or in need of repair. 

Seeing the value in something that others might not see and having the courage to take a step forward, despite other people’s doubt, can lead to incredible results.  I need to use this principle in all things I do.  Someday soon I hope what was once my brother’s pontoon and now is my pontoon that it will find its way back to its true purpose.  It is not about possession of what was once or what is now, that was yours, this is mine, but about purpose.  In this case, what value does a boat have to any of us if I cannot bring it full circle and get it back to the water so that it can allow us time on the lake with family and friends to enjoy fishing once again?

Same Old, Same Old

By Renee Shay, Harvesting Thought

–explore–

Let us face it, there appears to me that there is not much different in the world.  Most things happening have happened before and most things about to happen have happened before.  Who has not heard the phrase, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?”  Doesn’t that feel like the story of our lives, like life itself on most days?

What we do as human beings and how we respond to our world is not unique.  When conflict arises, we pick sides.  It all comes down to making decisions about who we stand with and who we stand against.  It is a natural survival mechanism.  We look for similarity in others and latch onto them so that we can build up a wall of protection and resistance toward whatever threat we are facing.  Let us call it for what it is, strength in numbers.  It is as old as civilization, as old as humanity, as old as life itself.  It exists in the animal kingdom, it exists in humans, and it exists in our DNA.  Of course, we can put different names to it, but it is all the same.  From the word, “tribe” to the word “party” to the phrase, “my people,” it ends up in the rawest sense, the same; me and you, us, and them.

–challenge–

Does that mean that nothing ever changes?  Does that mean that there is no hope for things to be different?  Does that mean we are doomed to repeat the past around every corner of our future?  No, it does not.  There is hope and we can change.  Having conflict, you and me, us, and them, that will stay constant, that will not change, that is natural.  But what can change is our reaction to it, our resistance to fight conflict with all our old tools.  That is where change can happen, that is where the space for mutation of our actions can breathe and give us new life, new direction and renew our confidence in humanity.

Have you ever met someone who has had what is called a “spiritual awakening?”  Where something takes place in their world so profound that it has changed the course of their life, most often for the good?  A moment so amazing that it changed years of destructive patterns that had previously destroyed every aspect of their lives and relationships with family, friends, and their health.  Something changed, and their life began moving in a new direction that ended the war going on within themselves and restored health and connection with their world.  Well, I can tell you, that day of change, that one instant of change, often comes in a flash so quick that one thought, one different action over another, the awakening would not have happened.

-expand–

Guess what, those life-altering experiences most always happen on just another ordinary day like today.  How often a person awakens and says, “I want to change today” and within seconds, minutes, hours, or days they go right back onto the same old, same old ways of being in the world?  I can tell you; change does not conveniently happen on the extraordinary days of our lives; it occurs in the same 24 hours as the day before and the same 24 hours following today.  While there are things in our lives that will always be the same old, same old, that keep repeating and are as natural as life itself, as natural as our DNA, it does not mean that on a normal day like today, like right now, now, when we least expect it, something extraordinary can happen that alters the course of our lives for the good of me and you, us and them.

Flags

By Renee Shay, Harvesting Thought

-explore–

There are three days in my life that I felt a deep and gut-wrenching visceral connection to flags. To remind myself of two of those events so that I could write about them in one of my next blogs, I texted the word “flags” to myself just this past Monday. I previously had two flag events that I was thinking about as I looked back on my life that hit me so emotionally that it imprinted on my psyche and that was what I wanted to write about. The first day was September 11, 2001, the second, February 12, 2017, and now unfortunately a third day has been added just this very week, January 6, 2021.

–challenge–

The day, September 11, 2001, was the first time in my life I had ever felt a deep sense of patriotism. I got it, I understood what it finally felt like, what my parents and grandparents had felt, to want to fly a flag and want to defend their land. We were attacked by foreign terrorists, and I was ready to defend. I do not need to provide much more explanation than that, the world all knows how they felt on that day too.

I have flown an American flag, the one with the fifty stars and thirteen stripes, that one and only representation of our democracy, our freedom, on my house ever since. I am proud to be an American, who would not be. The greatest power in the world, the most generous nation in the world. I have had a birthright membership and a general global protection anywhere in the world purely based upon an admiration for our democracy. The envy of the world. Make no mistake, I am proud to be American.

The second flag day was February 12, 2017, though happened because of a combination of days and months which led me to virtually raising the Mexico flag in support of those hardworking people. I spent so much time as a visitor traveling in their beautiful country, they hold a place in my heart. I support those that want to legally come to the United States and those “Dreamers” already here. Legal, illegal, they were bucketed together and all under attack as our country was moving into a direction of vilifying all immigrants, especially Central and South Americans, even the children. The hatred and racism for political favor or gain in our country was heartbreaking. Again, I do not condone illegal border crossings, absolutely not. I defend our laws every day but to not stand up to hatred, to racism, that would be a shame. I stand up for legal immigration, Viva Mexico.

This brings me to the third day, January 6, 2021, which was just yesterday. The riotous attack on our first branch of government, the legislative congressional leadership and our fellow citizens working in our United States Capitol building, is a gut-punch that still reverberates in my body more than 24-hours later. To see the videos of the invasion and the property destruction was so saddening. The flying of a confederate flag, “don’t tread on me” and other flags brought into our capital, a sad day indeed.

A desecration of our democracy on full display for the entire world to see took place in our country this week. The world we have enjoyed all the privilege of envy from, envy that will wither away by such ugliness if it continues. The flag flying mob rioters and the actions they took was absolutely nothing to be proud about, having killed five Americans and that is one too many Americans dead today. Like the over 365,000 dead and counting from the COVID-19 pandemic was not enough.

–expand–

Flags, flags, flags, they can be symbolism of belonging, of strength, of courage, of pride, of calls to action. They can also be symbols of evil as we saw yesterday in our Nation’s Capital. Un-American flags flying in the face of our leaders we have entrusted with our lives to govern our freedoms. Flags that will forever be etched into our memories that are now associated with the spilling of American blood on our capital floor.

Flags can become bookends in our minds to periods of history that we must not soon forget, least we repeat, repeat, repeat the sins of our past. What flags do you pledge allegiance to? We as America, I believe, should have only one flag that our allegiance is to ensure our enduring freedom. I believe that is the flag of fifty stars and thirteen stripes, the flag of the United States of America. Ask yourself, do you believe the same?

Making Choices, Choosing Sides

By Renee Shay, Harvesting Thought

–explore–

I was pulling into a parking spot at the grocery store and a friend said to me, “do you realize you always park in the left row of any lot?” She was right, no thought required, I am inclined to park on the left side. I posed the question back, “why wouldn’t I, I am on the left side of the vehicle?” She is right-handed so for her, she said it feels natural to park on the right side. How can we both be comfortable with opposite choices when the vehicle dynamics are the same? In American, the steering components are on the left of our vehicles, and we all drive on right side of the road. Yet, do we have unconscious preferences for which side of a parking lot is more comfortable for us?

–challenge–

Some choices we make as humans can be so ingrained into our behavior that we do not even notice the patterns we are following. Had she not said anything about this I may not have stopped to think about it. What other choices do I make that have developed in my life that are so routine I do not recognize them or really understand why I make them?

From an incredibly early age, we learn the art of “picking sides,” depending upon the activity we were doing. If it was during gym out in the school yard and the physical ed teacher said, “Okay, you two pick sides,” for a kickball game, who did you pick? You competed with the other kid to pick the most athletic kids; the boys were picked first so that you could have the best shot at winning. One by one, kids were sorted out like cattle, side to side, down to the last person. If you were inside a classroom and had to pick sides for a science project, the choices were quite different from the school yard, weren’t they? You would be looking for the most book smart kids to get the project done. There were two constants in these situations. No matter the team, there was no guarantee of a win and it never felt good to be the last kid picked.

–expand–

Making choices and choosing sides are such a part of our everyday world that we do not always recognize why we make one choice over another. From the time we are infants until our death, we make decisions that range from simple like choosing a kickball team, picking a parking spot, to more complex ones like where we want to live, who we want to love, who we are friends with, what brand of car we want to buy, the list goes onto infinity. We are the ones making decisions that impact our lives and think we know all the reasons behind them, but do we? Making decisions also impact the lives of others along the way. When you are picking sides in the games of life, do you worry about how others are affected?

Need to Be Liked

By Renee Shay, Harvesting Thought

–explore–

The need to be liked, to belong, to connect, did not start with the World Wide Web, Facebook, YouTube, WhatsApp, or Messenger. These social networks were born out of our desire to connect with each other. It was quite genius of their creators to figure that out and capitalize on it by tapping into one of our greatest necessities, connection to others. Many have become the richest people in the world because they figured that out and created new ways for us to communicate without having to be in the same room, house, city or even country.

In our first years of attending primary educational institutions, how many people experienced “show and tell” where you had to bring a story, an object, and present it to the class on Monday mornings or after a holiday break? What did we all try to do when faced with this task? How did we feel when someone had a better story, had a better souvenir from their summer vacation than you did? Most of us dreaded it all the way to school or got excited when we thought we had something great to share. We oftentimes ended up jealous when we fell short, with a determination to produce something better to wow the class next time, right? I bet we never could live up to what we thought would impress others.

-challenge–

We all tried to tell the best story, bring the coolest things in, and share them with our classmates. Or decided not to participate at all if we felt we could not compete with the popular kids. Isn’t that exactly what we try to do now with our posts on Facebook or Instagram? Different forum but it is the same principle. Of course, it is. I do not think anyone who uses these sites can honestly say they do not look at how many “like” their posts. I am sure there are a few exceptions but most of us seem to get addicted to one up ourselves and others just as we had tried to impress our classmate’s way back in kindergarten.

We obsess over the need to be liked and it becomes a need that impacts our entire lives. We plan out what pictures we want to take when we are doing something so basic as eating or drinking, no aspect of our lives are off limits, so it seems. We are constantly orchestrating and setting up our next post to “show and tell” the world how wonderful we are. Wow, even the person who invented the nuclear bomb to protect us, another need we tried to fill, was a genius just as much as the inventor of the World Wide Web. Though at what cost is their genius. New ways of navigating our physical and social worlds, our need to be liked, have a cost. The internet may not be as dramatic and dangerous as the death and destruction from a bomb but just because something is genius, and we think we will benefit from it does not always make it good for ourselves or others. The verdict is still out on this.

–expand–

Who remembers that story of the “secret” wedding with 7,000 guests during the height of the pandemic this past fall? I got that headline briefly and thought no one has 7,000 friends. It is hard enough to keep up with a handful of friends. Why would you want that many people attending something so intimate, so personal as your wedding anyway? A person might get one like or no likes on something they post online or can invite 7,000 people to their wedding. Both things are true, but that does not mean that the person who has more “likes” or guests is any happier or a better friend to others than the one who has 1 “like.” The one with more just may be more motivated to win the game of show and tell to satisfy their need to be liked?

Fitting In

By Renee Shay, Harvesting Thought

–explore–

As far back as I can remember, fitting in posed challenges for me. Whether it was trying to get to know new neighbors when realizing the other neighbors had a head start or beginning new relationships on my first day of school, sizing up the room to decide who you are going to sit next to, who are you going to first speak to, those are big decisions every kindergartner navigates.

–challenge–

The need to belong is as old as life itself. It is about survival in the world. To animals in the wild, trying to figure out who to trust can be and is most often life or death decisions. How to trust when you do not know if someone is a friend or foe? To be eaten or to eat, we humans have evolved enough where our decisions are not so dramatic but nonetheless can be emotionally gut wrenching and socially challenging when faced with them.

–expand–

While some humans do have to make life and death survival decisions, the ability to eat or not based upon their connections, unfortunately still exists. Though many of us have those basic needs taken care of, then what? We still reach for connection. Assuming that is you who does not have worry about being hungry or safe, what is next, you still seek others for companionship right? How does your need to belong inform the decisions you make daily?